Monday, 7 December 2009

Truths No.7

----------------
Now playing: Wynona - Girls With Guitars
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, 3 December 2009

The Beach Boys - God Only Knows



Another classic song for the brokenhearted.

I guess, initially, its meant as a love song where you declare your undying love for someone.

It was for me.

Now though, the meaning has been flipped on its head and its a song about what has been lost rather than the strength of something you might have had.

I hate being morose about all this stuff but its better dealt with than festering inside and I'm sure one day I'll find the joy in things once more.

(please!!!)


----------------
Now playing: Moby - Go [In Dub Mix]
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Episode 10

Thomas was trying to relax.

Jamal had given him a single room at the top of the hotel. The street lamps outside were level with his window and filled the tiny little room, as if the sun itself was peering in, preventing him from going straight to sleep. He was certainly exhausted enough.

There was barely enough room to fit the bed in the limited space available. His frame didn't quite fit it and he had to scrunch his body up to get comfortable. A slimline wardrobe was awkwardly squeezed in at the foot of the bed limiting access to the en-suite shower by trapping the door behind it. He was glad he wasn't as big as Jimmy. He'd never get through. The smile faded quickly.

Every time he closed his eyes they filled up with visions from earlier in the evening. He'd come back to the flat he'd shared with his mate Jimmy. He had been away for a few days because of the Brentford Asylum business. As he had entered, closing the door behind him, the atmosphere had been stifling. There was a horrible smell in the air which he couldn't quite place.

The panic set in as he went into the living room. They had worked out a system to let the other know if everything was okay. If Jimmy was fine then it would be on the shelf above the economy heater. It wasn't. If Jimmy had left the house voluntarily he would have had time to put the sacred Madonna figurine on the shelf. They'd agreed on this as they both suffered from paranoia and this eased the worry in case anything happened. The figurine itself was Jimmy's idea of a joke.

Thomas could see into the kitchen as he had come into the flat. The only other place to look was the bathroom.

The lifeless face of his friend would haunt him forever. He was positioned around the base of the toilet. Not the nicest place to be at the best of times in their low rent flat, but it made the scene look even more grim as vomit surrounded the loo. There was a syringe close to hand, its contents look spent.

He saw what had happened straight away. They had tried to make his friend's death look like an overdose. They were onto him. He hoped Jimmy hadn't told them anything about him. No doubt the flat was being watched. It was time to run again.

-------

Thomas woke up. This surprised him as he couldn't remember going to sleep. Even more surprising was the sense of peace and calm that he had. A dream was fading from his mind. He tried to catch it, but all he could sense was a pair of hands held out in comfort, now slipping back into the dream world.

He lay there trying to recapture the feeling, but all too soon the problems of reality crept back in and the edge returned to his existence.

Breakfast was buried in a room which was probably the servants quarters or kitchen in times past. All feeling of character had been wiped out by cost-efficient redecorating. Any sense of history lost to the subsequent owners who continued the new tradition of modern, functional refitting that had reduced these once grand townhouses to nothing more than was required by minimum health and safety regulation. On a good day.

There was a full english breakfast laid out as a buffet. The rubberised scrambled egg didn't look very appealing. The thought of eating sausages that weren't advertised as meat also put him off. The sauce on the baked beans looked too thick and was only a pale imitation of orange. This left him with a selection of overcooked bacon, the random choice of whether the fried eggs would be runny or just soft and the inevitability of the peeled plum tomatoes to give the ensemble a strong disguising flavour should the bacon or egg not taste as they should.

He sat in one of the many corners of this warren-like breakfast room. The table was at a normal height for the average person but Thomas kept knocking his knees on the already wobbly table. On his way over he had grabbed a glass of juice, except he now realised it was just orange squash. He took a sip to greet the day. Weak orange squash.

He was just about to work through the contents of his plate when a girl wandered over and spoke in a thick east european accent. "Coffee? Toast?"

"No coffee please, but I would like some toast, thanks." he replied. He was a coffee snob and he doubted they had his brand here and there's nothing worse than bad coffee. Good coffee was just about bearable, it had its uses. He had sworn off coffee for so long because of human rghts abuses of the workers, but just because now most of it was Fair Trade didn't make it worth drinking. Besides, he was sure that coffee would one day go the way of cigarettes. Toast on the other hand was pretty reliable. No matter where he'd been in the world you couldn't really go wrong with toast in the morning, where it had been available, so long as it had a good helping of...

"Butter?" the girl asked.

"Definitely. Yes please." With the thought of the toast already melting in his mouth he tucked into, what he later decided was, a rather bland breakfast after all.

He made his way up the stairwell, back to his room, having had his fill. As he approached the door his senses started to tingle. He was getting a bad feeling, something was not right. He stood where he was, not wanting to make another sound. Everything was becoming hyper-real.

He scanned the landing around him, but found nothing obviously out of place. He was on edge and as he stared intently at the door to his room it seemed to be jumping out at him, screaming for him to go away before it was too late.

Fear gripped him and made him unable to take another step forward as if a brick wall had suddenly been erected. Above him a door slammed. His body needed no conscious command. Stumbling backwards, he turned as he ran down the stairs towards the reception and out the door, throwing his key at the desk on his way. He had to leave London. Now.



----------------
Now playing: The Sundays - Blood on My Hands
via FoxyTunes

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Let it take you

Let the ride take you
Let the wind blow you
Let the world lift you on their shoulders
See where you go

What is there to fear?
When there's no further to fall
So go with the flow
It's the only way you'll know



----------------
Now playing: Moby - Feeling So Real [Old Skool Mix]
via FoxyTunes

Monday, 30 November 2009

Sensations No.3

----------------
Now playing: Debbie Gibson - Electric Youth
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, 26 November 2009

The Fear - Lily Allen


Lily Allen - The Fear (Explicit) on MUZU.

I've always had a soft spot for Ms Allen with her original musical style that set off a spate of clones and pioneered MySpace as a source of finding new musical talent.

This track especially, which launched her second album confirmed her wit and ability to craft an above average pop song. In fact, compared to a lot of other pop efforts its probably on a genius level!

Sometimes I'm embarrased to admit to knowing all the words to a song. In this case though I'm happy to find myself singing along with it as there's a synergy in the sentiment behind the song and my own thoughts and feelings on the subject of celebrity.

Plus she's really hot in this video! (oh dear!)


----------------
Now playing: The Orb - Toxygene (Dal Vivo a Roma)
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Episode 9

The rain was thick and heavy making the faded grandeur of the streets of Kings Cross more claustrophobic. Summer thunderstorms reminded him of what he was running away from. The moonlit sky adding to the gloom and darkness that seemed to be enveloping his life once more. They had to be close behind him. He had to stop running.

It had all gone wrong again. He should never have made this trip to London. London is a bad place to hide. They can find you almost anywhere. They could tap into any system and use it against you. He had taken a chance when he cleared out his bank account, but he figured they knew where he was anyway and he needed to escape.

He ran down Grays Inn Road toward the station, his lanky frame weaving through the late evening travellers making their way to their hotels and apartments. With his heart racing his mind was trying to think faster than his feet were moving. He was getting closer to freedom. They weren't stupid, he thought, they'll cover themselves and figure that I'm bolting. He noticed he was running past a number of side streets. I'm on the main street, he realised. There are probably camera's everywhere and I'm the only one running. He pulled up and looked around.

He could see the Scala ahead where he and Jimmy had gone most nights for the last few weeks. The old NUJ building was near too. He decided to duck into one of the anonymous looking streets.

Forcing himself to stroll down the street, he took in every detail. The dark doorways, high fences and deserted pavement made him feel claustrophobic. He was no longer running, but his heart seemed to drown out all noise in this busy city.

The night seemed electrified. Every sense heightened. He was passing by some blocks of flats similar to those he had just left. He wondered if the same tragedy he had seen would ever visit themselves upon these houses. He took that thought back immediately. These were decent, honest people. Not screw-ups like him. They didn't deserve the kind of life he had and he didn't want to be the one to wish it upon them.

He put his hand inside his jacket pocket to make sure his charm was still there. The old style Pepsi Cola bottle top felt good in his hand. The smooth, shiny side. The serrated edge. The rubber inside. Focusing on this grounded him, rooting him in the time before his world went crazy.

He came to a little square with the same name as the street he had just come down. It had a scottish feel to it. Argyll. There was a little, fenced patch of grey in the centre of the square which he assumed was one of those surprising areas of green that were occasionally found in this world of brick and concrete.

All around the square were a dozen Bed & Breakfasts. Their yellowing plastic signs lit up and standing out like beacons calling out to him in this foul weather. He paused. Tomorrow. I'll get away tomorrow.

He walked up to the first B&B he could see. They all carried the word Hotel in their title as if the mere fact of them being situated in the heart of London allowed them to rise above all the other B&B's in the country. "We're grander than you're used to", they stated in a grubby, not-so-subtle kind of way.

He tried the door of the Park Lodge Hotel. He tried to imagine how on earth that tiny scrap of grass could be thought of as a park.

Walking up to one of the hotels he pushed at the door. It was shut. He looked through a glass panel and could just see a head behind the desk at reception. He located the doorbell and rang. At the sound of a buzzer allowing him in, he entered and approached the desk.

There was an elderly gentleman there. The kind of guy you would expect to be a doorman at a more upmarket hotel. He looked in his eighties but fairly fit with it.

"Jamal's not here. He's gone out to get some sugar. I'm just looking after the desk." said the octogenarian eyeing his visitor with eyes that seemed to look right past him

"I'll wait" came the reply. His body's senses were starting to calm down. He was inside, out of sight. He was safe.

"I'm just looking after the desk you know. I live next door. I'm a volunteer"

His jaw was clenched so tight, talking was impossible without great effort.

"He's just gone out to get some sugar. I live next door. I'm a volunteer. I won't be here for much longer though"

His attention was briefly drawn away from his current turmoil. This guy seemed gentle enough, but he wasn't quite all there. Maybe it was past his bedtime.

"I'll be going to the Chelsea home in a few months. I fought in the war."

War? He knew all about that. No-one would believe him though. They never did.

"I'll be going in a few months. I fought in the war, so I can go there."

"I need a room."

"Jamal's not here. He's gone out to get some sugar. I can't get you a key as I live next door. I'm just volunteering. Doing my bit."

The voice faded in and out revisiting the same theme. The repetition just seemed to stretch the time out into an eternity.

After what was, in reality, only a few minutes there was a key in the front door and in walked a young, middle-eastern guy in a baseball cap and a Bench sweatshirt. He wasn't that wet, so maybe the rain had quietened down.

"Did you get the sugar?" the old guy enquired as he stood up.

"No. There was no sugar, old man."

"Did you try the shops?" he asked as Jamal came behind the counter and flopped into the seat his elder had just vacated.

"The shops were shut, and nobody had no sugar". The young man's tone of voice suggested he had little patience for the old guy, let alone having to answer his questions.

"Do you have a room for the night?" At the question Jamal totally forgot about the octogenarian war veteran as his attention was focussed on business. No-one noticed the senile veteran as he slipped away.

"We have a few. What's your name?"

"Carter. Mr Thomas Carter."


----------------
Now playing: The Feeling - I Thought It Was Over
via FoxyTunes