Step Two

There's a thought in my head that goes round and round
I can feel it behind my eyes as it makes a buzzing sound
It evades my grasp as I seek for clarity
How do I get hold of it and see what it wants of me
It's not a random thought, it's been building for a while
It could be a momentous thought, the kind that makes me run a mile
I'm not sure if I want to take that on at the moment
How about I forget it and give it a shunt
Push it far away and just get through the now
But what if it's a solution
Could it tell me how
I can feel the past slipping away as new habits take hold
I don't want this to be my life until I grow old
This is a time of transition
Getting from here to there
The past bears heavy
I can't come up for air
Flashes of light zip past me, out of sync with what I see
And I'm feeling ill as this thought is making me dizzy
If I lose myself now I lose it all
If I can find a way to keep it going, I won't fall
Take me by the hand and lead me out
I want to see clearly and have no doubt
Isolation does me no good
As thought becomes confused between could and should
I know what I could be and I know what I should be
I know that all I really want is to be me
Throughout my life I've searched for my niche
Instead I find myself letting someone else hold the leash
Taking me down paths I don't want to tread
Still walking them as the alternative fills me with dread
Where is the strength that can build me up so tall
Who will help me up when I inevitably fall
Why is this happening to me right now
When will I find the answer
And how



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Now playing: The 5th Dimension - Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In [Medley]
via FoxyTunes

Confuzzled No.1

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Now playing: The Wannadies - Hit
via FoxyTunes

Tricky - Black Steel

I was doing some programming earlier on today and was plugged into my MP3's when this came up.

About halfway through I realised I knew all the words!

I think this means I have to create a list!!!!  (No, really.  I do!)

So Black Steel is the inaugral inductee into my 'SongsIKnowAllTheWordsTo' list.

I'll update it as and when.

BTW 2 Unlimited's 'No Limit' does not qualify, as much as I may be tempted.

Link toOfficial 'Black Steel' video on YouTube

Episode 2

The ride from Westminster to the airport was going to take a while. Even with a congestion charge London's ancient streets just weren't built for heavy traffic.

Kelvin Carter went over again in his head just what trouble his son had now gotten himself into.

He wasn't sure he wanted to believe the report he had been given.

A succession of bomb attacks in Cairo on religious sites had caused untold damage and casualties.

The extent of his son's involvement was as yet unconfirmed by the embassy, but there was no doubt that he was, in some way connected.

Kelvin had immediately called in a favour with the Prime Minister to suppress the story for as long as possible. Not to save his embarrassment but to allow time for the diplomats to do their job in determining exactly how to stave off political disaster.

He may be a member of the opposing party but in the halls of Westminster his Foreign Policy advice was well trusted. Although it could never be revealed in public, the current PM relied on him as if he were a party advisor.

The current Foreign Minister was in his post to gain experience, not because he had any. He was the favoured child to lead them at the next election and so this was seen as invaluable to cement him as a contender in the public's eyes.

The thought that by helping the Prime Minister from time to time might be ruining his own party's chances of election gnawed away at him. In the end, he was an idealist.

He was in politics because he really did want to make a positive impact on the world and bring about peace and harmony for everyone.

Petty party politics didn't concern him.

If he could improve things for other people in the world today he would do so. It seemed like madness to wait for the slim chance that his party would get re-elected in order to make progress on things that could make life better for all.

How many lives could he save today by influencing the current foreign aid policy? How many conflicts could he resolve by using his substantial negotiating skills now rather than later?

That thought brought him back around to Thomas. Thankfully in all the confusion surrounding the alleged massacre, his son had made his way to the British Embassy before the local authorities got to him.

He was now being flown back for his own protection after a bit of adroit thinking by one of the local diplomats. Getting him out of the country would at least make it difficult to prosecute anything quickly.

It would be hard to reconcile this mess.

Even though his son was a constant embarrassment to him, he still loved him.

He had tried to help him before. Divorcing Thomas' mother some years ago had not stopped him from trying to keep in touch with his son.

Amidst his burgeoning political career it had been especially difficult watching him grow up mentally unbalanced.

A doubt had always resurfaced at times like these that maybe it was his fault. If he had tried to make things work in the marriage and not been selfish about his career then maybe he could have been there to guide Thomas' through his dark years.

He pushed the guilt back down as he normally did, in order to think more clearly. If he was going to help his son now, he needed to be on top of his game.

If the situation got nasty though and it turned into a full-blown international incident then there would be nothing he could do to protect his son. He may have to sacrifice him for the greater good.



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Now playing: Strangelove - She's Everywhere
via FoxyTunes

Wherever...Whenever

I'm haunted by the ghosts of their presence
The strongest of memories
Imprinted on reality
A face in the crowd
Their back turned toward me
A reflection in the window
Love binds us
Through space and time
Reaching out
I can almost touch them
But I know
It's all in the past
It's all in my head now
Fuelled by my heart
These memories will live
Forever with me
As I fade from theirs



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Now playing: Public Enemy - What What
via FoxyTunes

Nightmare No.3

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Now playing: Pendulum - Violet Hill
via FoxyTunes

Episode 1

In the beginning was God.

He created the angels.

One fell from grace bringing disobedience into creation.

He created mankind.

One disobeyed and brought death into life.

God saw that all was not good.

God became a man to free his creation from death.

The God/Man was killed.

The God/Man lived again.

God abandoned Man.

But He left a way back...

- - - - - - - - - -

The table was one of those gleaming, executive boardroom designs that dominated the room with an aura of power and wealth.

The five men sat around the table, one chair unoccupied.

It felt as though it didnt matter who sat in their chairs. The faces could change but it was the table that represented what each of these men craved.

You would not expect the most powerful men in the world to look as these did. Unremarkable without being non-descript. Businesslike without being corporate. Confident without being arrogant.

None of them knew each other personally. They were selected by someone they had never met previously but who each of them now relied upon to know when these meetings are scheduled.

Neither were any of them running the meeting. They all waited for someone to begin proceedings. Tension buzzed in the air as the silence grew louder and the seconds passed increasingly slower.

The head of this small collective of ambitious power-brokers was never present.

To meet him. To become his right-hand man was the second-most important goal in their lives.

Each of them looked at the others wondering which of them it was that had his ear. Outside of this room, they spent millions on investigators trying to find out who these rivals were in order to nullify them and possibly harvest the fruits of their efforts.

They were here in order to share information about their respective plans, but no-one wanted to reveal their hands before they were successful.

There was no room for small talk here. They would never be friends. The only words spoken here would determine the course of people's lives. They were words which gave life or death to individuals who knew nothing about these people and their ultimate goals.

Each word would be power. Pure. Undistilled.

With no idea of their leader or his adjutant their schemes would seek to outdo what was revealed at the previous meeting, hoping to impress their worthiness to be sitting at his right hand.

Such closeness was desired because it would give them the perfect opportunity to kill him and take the throne.

Sometimes the faces changed which caused some concern and not a little curiosity, though none questioned the presence of one or the absence of the other. Speculation led to thoughts of promotion or worries about elimination.

Blinded by their ambition and greedy for their own immortality, the truth escaped them. They would not have believed it anyway.

The truth was that their leader was there with them. The sixth member was always there. He had attended every meeting. Saying nothing. Invisible to all.

He sat in his chair and marveled at how, with the just slightest of suggestions, with merest of enticements mankind ran away with their own fantasies of godhood.

Their willingness to give up the gift of humanity, so unique to them, made him smile.

Their capacity to inflict suffering upon faceless masses for their own comfort and gain gave him a special pleasure.

It shouldn't be this easy to turn the creation against it's creator should it?

It's not even as though he had to even sow seeds of doubt about following a righteous path any more as few even believed in the existence of God to begin with.

Tonight would be another good night. More sorrow and suffering would be brought about with the excuse of plausible deniability as they did it all to themselves.

The Prince of Darkness sat back in his chair and laughed an inaudible laugh of triumph and self-satisfaction.



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Now playing: Ash - Girl from Mars
via FoxyTunes