TV Meview 6-8.12.2008

It's been a sparse weekend's programming, mainly because of putting up decorations and not sleeping very well but here's my thoughts on what I did watch.

The Semi-Final of X-Factor was a tough one to call, but at the end of the day the right people made it to the final. As I keep saying the talent has been very high this year but Diana Vicker's quirky vocal just wasn't strong enough or consistent enough to get her to the final. I'm sure she'll do well in the current pop landscape when she finally releases something, as long as they find the right songs for her anyway.

Shall I call a winner yet? Yeah, okay!

Eoghan Quigg.

He'll do it because of the fan base of the show and the fact that teens are more likely to be motivated to see more of his cute, but vacant expressions.

Talking of Eoghan's facial expressions, I almost missed Harry Hill's TV Burp as it was on later than usual. This weeks show was full of its usual running gags and TV absurdities. The standout moment was when he cast his weirdy eye onto a show about Health and Safety professionals (The Fun Police). It had me in stitches. Uncomfortably so, as I had company whilst watching it this weekend that don't see the fun in Harry Hill and so were actually more amused at my amusement. Please ITV, please put Harry back on at a normal time so I can watch it with my boys and not bear the shame of merriment alone.

After Harry had brought Anna Ryder-Richardson low to close the show I got sucked into watching the British Comedy Awards (yes, ITV does win hands down on Saturday nights in this house). Purposefully unaware of the Ross/Brand debacle that affected this show (I didn't hear the broadcast so I have no opinion of it) I was reminded of it constantly by every comedian who wanted to sound a little controversial by standing up for them. I know awards shows are notorious for luvvies, but this year's awards seemed to show new depths of self reference in place of genuine humour. That's not to say I didn't laugh every now and then, its traditional for ITV comedy, but I guess it did miss the irreverence and confidence of Head Boy Jonathan Ross. Having his lines delivered by the deadpan Angus Deayton didn't always work.

As usual most of the good comedy came from the BBC, so I guess its off to iPlayer to find out what the fuss is about half the shows mentioned.

After Match of the Day I spent most of the day trying to stay awake but managed to last throughout the whole of the Disney Premiere of Ratatouille. This was the first Pixar movie in a while that I hadn't taken the kids to the cinema to watch. Possibly because it was about a Rat who wanted to be a Chef. How amuszzz....zzzz..zzz

Oops! Sorry, getting tired again! So anyway, I thought, why let the kids see an animated tale of Gordon Ramsay's private life. Having seen it though it was fairly amusing though definitely one of their dullest in my book. The head chef was just too much of a loser, as was the original chef, who died because of a bad review. The only highlight was the fiesty french chick who the loser falls for and inexplicably wins. I hate hollywood romances. I was glad when the thing finished and I could get the kids to bed.

After our evening had relaxed a bit it was time for a bit of Fringe. This was the last episode before the new year (I still haven't found out if they're making anymore yet though) so a cliffhanger was expected, but the route there wasn't.

It was time to start tying up some of the plot threads whilst throwing more questions into the pot. The things that stuck with me were the revelations of how surprised Walter was at some of the things coming his way. Usually he recognises the wierdness and says 'oh yes, I invented that whilst I was drying myself in the shower'. To see him react to things he hadn't encountered was a neat twist on how the show has worked to this point. Also the fact that Olivia suddenly became more valuable to two parties possibly behind 'the pattern' and that one of them has aquired her against her will was also a logical place to take the character even if you wouldn't expect them to do so this early on.

I like the fact that the show is taking risks with its characters. None of the three leads are your typical, likeable everyman character. That makes them interesting because not only do you not know where 'The Pattern' will take you next, you can't necessarily guess the character's responses in these situations. I'm going to miss this in the coming weeks. Sunday is now dead to me.

As Monday soon will be once Eli Stone wraps up its first season. Another great episode where we get to see good people being good and leading the morally gray into a better place. The effects of Eli's new found ethics are starting to have their ripples felt around the law firm and it hasn't gone unnoticed as Katy Sagal (Married with Children, Futurama) steps in as one of the silent law-partners who finds she can no-longer be silent due to Eli's crusading costing them high-paying clients.

Has Eli found himself a formidable adversary who will try to reverse, block and end all the good he has tried to do? I hope we find out.

This week Eli sees the future which involves some of the people from his present ending up somewhere he didn't expect them. This leads him to representing a criminal who is being persecuted for standing up for himself in jail and who has links in the past to one of the other lawyers in the firm.

Whilst Eli gets on with this case his relationship with his assistant continues to be awkward as her sudden engagement becomes an issue. Eli's Ex on the other hand is now being won over by the office jerk who, since learning about his baseball hero's underhand tactics when representing him, seems to be showing a softer side. I guess with all of the characters from the opening episodes who seemed to be Eli's enemies now showing either indifference or some actual character growth a new adversary had to be put in place to create some internal tension in the office.

Lets see where it takes us.


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Now playing: Supergrass - She's So Loose
via FoxyTunes

Random Story 3

Every day was a slow day in Little Boghampton.

It felt slower because the day was made of a series of regular occurences which you spent most of the day waiting for.

Behind the front desk of the village constabulary, one of the last of its kind, PC James anticipated the next part of the schedule.

He wasn't far off retirement and he only got to visit Little Boghampton once a week as part of his community visits, but he had been stationed here for a long time previously and so he knew the place like the back of his hand. Fortunately he never wore gloves.

Ah! There she was. He glanced out of the window. Miss Cooper rode past on her bicycle. They had a history which he wished wasn't now in the past, but he felt a duty not to put pressure on her now that her husband had recently died. He would wait until she was ready. He prided himself on his self-control.

Lost, as he was, in his memories he was brought back with a rather loud bang as the door to his now cramped office slammed shut. The rest of the constabulary had been converted into a 3-bed house which had been sold for enough money to have funded a full-time police officer in this village for the next 150 years!

His visitor was another of the every day happenings that were difficult to avoid. It was Barry Stott. To say he was the local drunk was to say it all really. He braced himself as he wondered what story Barry would regale him with today. The amount of times the PC had picked up Barry for being 'Drunk and Disorderly' over the years had somehow given the old sot the impression that they were now good friends.

"PC! How are you doing today!" The alcohol fumes wafted across the small room.

The constable shuffled a few papers.

"I'm fine Barry. Do you have police business today?"

"Now as it happens I do."

Stott missed the raised eyebrow in response to his statement as he was too busy trying to focus on the spider playing a trombone under the ledge of the front desk.

"And what is the nature of your business?" Experience came into play here. The less interest he showed in the story the shorter the tale usually became. Shorter being a relative measurement.

"Well I was out by old Miss Cooper's place earlier..."

This got a rise out of the constable he was always very protective of Miss Cooper, especially now that she was a widow.

"Less of the 'old' please. Show some respect. Why were you out there? You know she's at the library in Much Boghampton in the mornings!"

"Well if you want me to start at the beginning, I will."

Rats! He'd fallen for the bait. This slow day was about to get slower.

"It all began last night!

As I was escorted in a gentlemanly fashion from the local establishment I decided to fall over so that I could appreciate the stars in the sky.

Even though I hit my head I was clear-headed enough to notice a few of the stars seemed to be closer that they ought to be. And moving.

I was about to get up and make my way home and put myself off to bed. I got as far as sitting up, whereupon one of the stars shot past me through the village.

Now, knowing that in your enforced absence I'm the closest thing to an officer of the constabulary in these parts, I put off my plans for a peaceful nights sleep and followed the bright light in the direction it had gone. I didn't have to go far as I saw that the star had landed in one of the bedrooms in the vicarage. I knew this because I was talking with the father over a pint earlier in the evening and he had been bemoaning that his lightbulb had fizzed out the previous night and hadn't been able to replace it. So there was no other explanation for the glow emanating from his top floor.

I sat outside to see what would happen next as I heard a number of strange noises coming from the open window, whereupon the star left the house. The noises stopped at that moment so I felt it was okay to go after the star. You see, I've picked up a few tips from you on how to do this investigation thing."

"Is that it?" He knew it was a pointless question but he tried just on the off-chance.

"Well, you'd think it would be wouldn't you. It's not often that a star just falls out of the sky is it? But I know how these types work and I could tell that the star was acting suspiciously."

"A suspicious looking star. In the vicarage bedroom?"

"That's not the end of it."

What a shame, the PC thought.

"I followed it again. As everyone else was tucked up in bed it was easy to tell where it had gone...Miss Coopers place."

"Are you dragging her into this now?" The constable felt his blood begin to boil.

"Just the facts my dear friend. By the way can you make out the tune that spider is playing?"

"Get on with it or get out!"

"PC. You need to calm down I'm getting to it. I just need to explain..."

The look he recieved prompted him to carry on.

"So there I was in front of Miss Coopers house with the same strange happenings occurring. I found that the longer I stared at the light I could make out shapes moving around. After a while I think the light hypnotised me because all of a sudden dawn was breaking and I realised that it must have found me and knocked me out without realising it."

"What found you?" An incredulous police officer inquired.

"The star of course. Oh look there's an ant playing bongo's now."

"Finish the story, so that I can arrest you, and go home!" Some of his famed self-control was slipping.

"Okay. Okay. Well obviously the star was no longer there. I wondered what might have happened as I know you care very much for her welfare. I wandered over all steathily so as not to arouse suspicions. I climbed through the gap in the bush just behind the tree on the left corner, you know the one."

"I certainly do not!"

"Oh, must have been someone else that night. Well, I tread very carefully through the garden so as not to disturb the careful tendering that Miss Cooper puts into that verdant paradise. I moved around her house checking for signs of entry. Did you know her gutterings coming away over the kitchen window?

I walked up to the back door and noticed the window was broken. I knew it would be a few hours until you would arrive in the village and for the sake of such a short time anything could have happened in that house, so I took it upon myself to open the door, whereupon I was greeted with the most horrifying sight."

"What was it! I demand to know?" The constable was totally caught up in the tale now.

Barry sat back enjoying the enraptured audience.

"You know as well as anyone that I'm a man with a hardy constitution but nothing could have prepared me for the sight that I beheld. The place was overrun with bugs!"

"Bugs?!" Spluttered the PC.

"Bugs, yes. Every imaginable kind. Worms, spiders, beetles, caterpillars, flies and more. All of them swarming around the kitchen. But that's nothing as to what happened next. As I opened the door a bit further it creaked, whereupon all of the insects moved as one and converged together.

"Together?"

"Together. As one, I say. They all swarmed upon each other and a form began to take shape. As each insect buzzed, crawled and wriggled its way across the kitchen it became something else. Someone else."

"Who?"

"Do you have some flyspray, constable?" Barry said.

"Who was it?" His demands were growing more strangled as he struggled for control.

"Here, I picked up a few, have one, you'll need it. That spider over there looks armed." He put a can of spray on the counter.

"Tell me...!"

"Have you not worked it out yet? It was Miss Cooper."

The constable had had enough. "That's it. You're nicked!"

He stormed around the front desk and manhandled Stott into the token excuse for a cell at the back of the room.

"What are you doing? Constable?"

"I'm doing the town a favour and keeping you out of trouble and then I'm going to see Miss Cooper to see what mischief you've done."

"But what are you going to do? Take the flyspray, at least."

PC James finally lost his highly regarded self-control in a moment he would later regret and threw the spray at the incarcerated, inebriated fool who had just wasted his time for the last occasion.

He had sufficiently calmed down by the time he reached Miss Cooper's house and took a moment to adjust his uniform. To satisfy his police instincts he had tried to substantiate the story of the old sot now in the cell.

Father Bownes had seemed fine and attributed his night time light show to the fact that he had moved his table lamp upstairs and forgotten to turn it off before falling asleep during his bedtime prayer routine, thus giving him nightmares for a time until he woke up and turned it off.

Now the constable had an opportunity to call upon Miss Cooper. Any interaction with her was a welcome distraction and he walked up to the front door. As he made his way through the gate he glanced across to the left-hand corner of the garden and saw the unmistakable path Barry had trampled. He sighed and tutted to himself as he approached the front door.

He didn't have to wait too long after knocking as Miss Cooper opened the door with a smile. With a nod of her head she beckoned him in, closing the door quietly after him.

When Barry was found a few months later, still in the cell, he was near to death, a number of tins of empty insect spray littered around him. They almost didn't find him, but his weak cries for help were heard through the flames as they burned the mountain of dead insect carcasses that surrounded the cell.

The country had survived the onslaught but suffered heavy casualties. Towns the length and breadth of the UK were purged of the insect infestations. The only way you could tell a real human was by the intense scarring left by the extra strength bugspray that was used to defend against the manifestations of the insect invader. Or by using an ultraviolet 'zapstick', a portable version of those found in the local chippie.

Only through one man's warning can we fend of future attacks.

"Never trust an insect that can play musical instruments."





















Character: Whereupon Plot: Demands Resolution: Bugs

Promises No.1

TV meview 3/4.12.08

Another day another TV meview (do you see what I did there?).

I left you as I was about to watch the latest episode of Stargate Atlantis. Now I have to admit that I only tend to watch this out of habit these days. I still hang in there because of a few characters I like despite the tired stories and rehashed plots. One of them, Rodney Mackay, was the focus of this episode.

A romance has been blossoming between him and another character for a little while now. While it's been obvious to her and the viewers that Rodney likes her, she finally loses her patience as he tries to invent another reason as to why they should spend time together instead of just coming out and asking her on a date.

So, after a reassurance that she's not going to say no he asks her out. I can't criticise, its what I'd probably do. It must be a geek trait.

As it turns out their first date will be spent at a physicists convention. How exciting! Well at least we know that all isn't going to go according to plan and it doesn't disappoint. An old colleague has called the top brains in the world together to demonstrate a way to solve Global Warming, using some of Rodney's theories that he developed as part of the Stargate program.

Of course this leads to all sorts of shenanigans which aptly demonstrate the flaws of Rodney's character as well as his strengths and at the end of the day he saves the day and gets the girl, whilst proving himself to his peers who think he has dropped off the face of the planet in recent years (well I guess he has, really).

All in all it was a good romp. With the news that this will be Atlantis' last season I'll cherish every bit of Rodney I can get. Apparently there's a new series in development called Stargate Universe, but why it'll be worth the risk of dumping some well-established characters to re-invent a tired format I don't know. Maybe it needs a break like Star Trek, in order to gather itself and come back stronger.

After a rare, decent episode of Atlantis it was time to turn to some more dramatic stuff altogether.

Survivors has already, in my opinion, set its tone which, considering the last series Julie Graham was in (Bonekickers), is a great improvement. The acting, stories and production values are on a par with programmes like Spooks and Hustle though not as flashy in its presentation. It's a simple drama about people stripped down to their essences. Each cast member represents a stereotype, philosophy or ideology. In the great Science Fiction tradition this is standard fare, but to see it in primetime on the BBC is good stuff.

The post-apocalyptic setting allows them to explore human traits and responses to an uncivilised environment. That means that plot lines that make no sense on something like Eastenders actually have some weight in Survivors. This could also be down to better actors though.

The interesting thing about this series is that the guy who plays Greg (Paterson Joseph) is rumoured to be the next Doctor Who, so not only am I investing in his performance here, I find myself analysing everything about him as to whether he would make a good Doctor or not.

This time around it looked at the struggle between those who were trying to cling on to the last vestiges of civilisation and those who were trying to create a new one. It pulls no punches in showing what would need to be done in trying to keep law and order functioning in a lawless world. If this was produced in America by a network other than HBO I'm sure it would get all sentimental about democracy and the innate goodness of people. Thankfully, its not and we get a pretty accurate account of what happens in a power vacuum.

Balanced with this storyline the question is posed "How do those who've never done a real day's work in their life look after a bunch of chickens?" A bit of an obvious situation to confront if you find that farmers are no longer producing the food you picked up at the local shop, but it presents itself as an opportunity for some character growth and to foreshadow some future internal struggles within our band of survivors.

I have to say that the pacing of the story is great. It doesn't whiz by like Lost does, but it doesn't drag on like Atlantis can do either. You definitely feel like you've a meaty episode that satisfies.

Wednesday's programming solely consisted of Heroes. I got to watch it alone this week which is hard enough, but as it was a two-parter I decided I'd probably have better things to do next Wednesday (like putting my shoes in the shoe cupboard), so I figured I'd watch the 'first view' on BBC three as well.

I was prepared to give Heroes the benefit of the doubt for its third series after the abortive second season. Unfortunately, it has now, officially, wasted all of my goodwill.

This two-parter was supposed to change everything up, but all its done is once again had everyone acting against the characters they established in the excellent first season.

I'm probably not adding anything to the growing chorus of disapproval to this series, but it surely can't last another season like this. I guess it will ultimately be written off as a one season wonder as I can't see it getting itself out of this mess.

Just the way it picks up from the cliffhanger of part 1 (once you've seen both episodes and connected the dots as to what went on between you'll be sick a little, or not) is typical of the inconsistency prevalent in this series. Does anyone on this show know what they are doing or where they are going and how to make us care again for the characters they've messed up?

It looks like they were surprised by the success of the first season and didn't know what to do with it.

Saying that, I'm an optimistic person and I'll stick with it to the bitter end, if only because my wife loves the program. I've heard it said that its only comic fans that are disappointed by the show as they are used to better and non comic fans still enjoy the show as measured against other dramas out there.

I suppose it is better than Mutant X.
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Now playing: Laura Branigan - Self Control
via FoxyTunes

This weekend's TV

I missed the results show of X-factor this Saturday but apparently I didn't miss much, apart from another awful appearance by Britney Spears. Although to be honest the signs were there in the main show. All the performances were sub-par as far as I was concerned.

That's what you get for basing a show on Britney's back catalogue though. Not the greatest singer in the world and to get these wannabes to copy her style is actually to belittle their talent.

Never mind, hopefully they'll have a better range of songs next week.

Sunday's latest Fringe episode on Sky1 was very good as it revealed a little more about the deceased agent John Scott and what he was up to. Was he selling secrets or working against the mysterious Massive Dynamics corporation. There's enough questions here to keep you interested and coming back each episode. There's no doubt that Walter Bishop is the most interesting character but his son Peter managed to get some storyline this week as he threatened some bloke beating up an old flame, who turned out to have some connection to a group who were after him.

As I intended to write this yesterday, today's post would have been about last nights telly. Instead I'll chuck it in here so you can have two columns of drivel for the price of one.

Monday saw us laid out in front of Eli Stone. It's not the kind of show that you sit perched on the edge of your seat for. Just sit back, relax and let the tale of a lawyer with prophetic dreams with a George Michael theme amuse you and bring some good feeling through your gogglebox. The latest development saw Eli relive his brother's actions at the time of their father's death and revealed a secret that been hidden from him since then.

As usual this tied in with having to defend his brother who veers from week to week as to whether he believes Eli's visions or not. The topic on trial this time is who gets to decide who lives and who dies as a former patient's husband sues Eli's doctor brother.

Actually, writing that I realise that the plot is incidental to everything that's happening. It's the characters that I find myself interested in. Eli is played by Jonny Lee Miller who is an actor I've always liked, ever since he was in Trainspotting. There aren't enough genuine nice guy characters these days, everyone has to have a twisted flaw or a dark secret. It's a light, fluffy program with a male Ally MacBeal.

Whoops! Time to go. Stargate Atlantis is on, then Survivors.


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Now playing: Mansun - Wide Open Space [Perfecto Mix]
via FoxyTunes

My 2009 Prediction

After the Watchmen movie becomes an epic success next year I reckon next halloween will see the arrival of a new (though very chilly) costume.

Will you be brave enough?


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Now playing: The Hybrids - Suzy Parker
via FoxyTunes

Random Story 2

You don't have to travel very far from the surface of the earth before people start losing their individuality and start looking like a mob.

Patterns of behaviour become self evident and somewhat monotonous. Somewhere around sunrise (a relative concept if ever there was one as the sun never moves) the people begin streaming from their little boxes and take a short walk before they enter an even smaller box and just sit still apart from waggling their hands and feet in attempt to give the small box direction and motion. Some people waggle their fingers at each other too, but that's something else to explore.

Once these people have transferred themselves into towering, coffin like structures another type of human has already started their day, which is often spent rarely leaving the confines of their box apart from short, erratic dashes to set points within a few miles of their box.

The people who have spent the day in the box/tower/coffin then emerge once the majority of the day is over only to rush back to the smaller box, sometimes putting their very existence in danger along the way. Shortly after the orbit of the planet shifts the sun's light to another part of the world they stop all activity, apart from breeding, which this race are particularly good at, until the sun wanders over in their direction again

This carries on for a few of the planets cycles when the pattern changes. Varying due to the current state of the local climate they will either leave their small box and go to a tiny strip of silicate along the edge of a H20 mass crammed in with numerous other humans and then proceed to remove their protective shielding and expose their fragile bodies to the harmful spectrum of radiation that their sun bestows upon them.

However if the local climate is more bountiful and feeds the surrounding land with much needed water the people tend to go to a different type of large box. What happens here is that a large number of them arrive in their travelling boxes and proceed inside the new structure. They enter with nothing and exit it with more than they seem capable of comfortably transporting. Even to the short distance to their travelling box. They seem to have developed a shift pattern whereby everyone in their community takes it in turns to remove the contents of this box. I have observed this behaviour for a very long time and no-one has ever left it without taking something.

Of course there are exceptions to this rule. For instance not everyone goes to the H20 mass, some stand outside their boxes and set off a controlled combustion onto which the flesh of their cohabitants on the planet are placed. Please don't misunderstand me. They are not from the same species.

So what am I to do? How do I rescue these creatures from their pointless existence. As a benevolent, god-like being, I cannot sit by and watch them waste their existence.

Shall I intervene in the lives of them all?

How would that be any better for them? They would not be responsible for their own achievements.

Should I influence just a few of them?

Who would I choose?

There must be a way of selectively rooting out those on the planet who would inspire greater things in them and save them from this miserable existence?

I did leave my spaceship sometime ago and tried to blend in with them. I tried to consult with them about how to make a better world for themselves. I don't think they listened.

I beamed out of there after they tried to kill me. I wonder what happened to those few friends who I visited to let them know I was really okay after all. They probably died the death of the forgotten billions.

Oh well. It's only another 5 Billion years till the sun burns out and they're dead anyway. If they carry on like this they'll never leave the planets surface and survive that. Either way, I get a new assignment then.

I hear there are interesting things happening in galaxy 52-B3. It's got to be more exciting than this.

















Character: everyone Plot: Selectively Resolution: consult


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