Welcome to the World of Crime

Well, today it finally happened.

I lost my virginity.

At the grand old age of 35 I am officially a victim of crime.

I have a crime number and everything.

Okay, so it was only my bike being stolen from my garden, but I've been surprised at just how much I feel about the whole thing. It's one thing to know how victims feel, but something else to experience it yourself.

It's only been a few hours since we discovered it (yes, we do get up that early!), but already i've been through the ringer.

At first I started of with nonchalance. It's only a bike (albeit an expensive one for us). It's just a thing. It doesn't matter in the scheme of things. At least it wasn't one that belonged to the kids.

Then I got angry. How dare they come into my garden and take my possessions! When I find them I'm going to skin them alive and hang their guts out to dry! Just you wait! If I see you riding my bike i'll... The whole revenge fantasy kicked in something rotten as I walked the streets at 6am in the ice and rain looking for any sign of thief or bike.

Once I got back from my journey I sat down and felt some grief for the thing. I would miss that bike as it had been my friend during a pretty intense period of my life when I had separated from my wife and got a new job in a different part of the country. There were a lot of memories attached to that 'thing'.

Now, at this moment, I'm going through paranoia. I'm sat at the dining table with my laptop, looking through the window, straight down the garden at the back gate. I think I've looked through the window about 30 times whilst writing this post. Every little noise that seems to come from the garden has me looking for some mysterious person who's greedy enough and stupid enough to return to the scene of the crime a few hours later for more.

The bike wasn't in the best shape, it had some spokes missing, worn tyres, a puncture and a slightly bent rear axle that made it work a bit harder. At one point I hoped that while they were riding it away that the thief pushed the bike too hard in these conditions and it failed them and they fell under a lorry! If that didn't happen then it was going to be one of those daftest robberies ever as they'll have to pay out for a new rear wheel and new front and rear tyres too if they want to bring it back to life. Although I guess you wouldn't expect a thief to pay for anything really would you.

Maybe it was better gone anyway. Not just for its mechanical failings, I would have been happy to restore my old friend back into working condition if I had had the money. No, I meant more for what it represented.

It was from a part of my life that was full of 'what ifs' now. Not a good place to have when you're trying to rebuild a relationship. Maybe it not being here will help draw a line under that period and help me live more in the now and for this future rather than one that might have been.

I was supposed to have gone into Pontypridd today for my course, but I can't stand the thought of leaving the house until I've made it secure. I'm not sure I'll get planning for 20-foot high, 2-foot thick walls though.

I know I'll probably never see the bike again. The person who stole it will probably never return again. But it happened once. It could happen again.

Welcome to the world of crime.


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