Goodbye to 2008

It feels like the right time to take a break from the holiday fun (such as it is, with both Karen and myself both full up with a cold) and take a look back at what's gone down with this year.
Musical Highlight of 2008
As ever, tying me down to one standout musical moment of any time period (unless it's the last five minutes) is impossible. I have a favourite song for every mood and occasion and I love them all equally on an emotional level. However, as the point of this blog is about writing I'll try and be more critical.

Usually a decade has a musical trend that defines it usually in the main pop scene but also on the underground levels. This year, I think the dominant trend is for pop to have drawn heavily on underground 80's indie sounds. The Wombats, Foals, Black Kids, Ladyhawke, Late of the Pier and Friendly Fires have all come to the fore sounding like a progression of the bands that I thought were cool and rebellious when I was in high school (which is now longer ago than I like to admit).

Its been a good year in other areas too though with bands like Hot Chip, TV on the Radio and Kings of Leon as top contenders.

Ultimately though I'm torn between two bands from the US who don't actually sound like they're from the US.

MGMT and Vampire Weekend.

I like both for different reasons. Vampire Weekend are VERY pop, but not cringily so. There's nothing wrong with catchy songs so long as they are sincere attempts at expression and not cynical productions following a formula where the artist doesn't matter. I can enjoy that kind of pop.

MGMT on the other hand represent that other side of me that just wants to rebel against the norms. They aren't rebellious in the seventies punk style, I guess its more akin to the hippie kind of anarchy that their dress style seems to represent.

If I had to choose one then it would probably be Vampire Weekend, if only because they seem to have more places to go whereas I'm not sure how MGMT can sustain their invention over more than one album. Instead I'm going to give it to MGMT for one reason only. I can't play the VW album to my kids because of the swearing, which is a shame because they love the edited versions they see on the TV.

TV Highlight of 2008
I'd like to throw up a surprise or two here but at the moment there's nothing that really touches my pick for the year. Before I reveal it though I'll give a few honourable mentions for programs that I've enjoyed even if they haven't set my TV world on fire.

Harry Hill has been consistently funny thoughout the year. His TV Burp program shows the absurdity of taking TV programs too seriously and his trick of inserting himself into the programs through clever editing tickles my funnybones in particular.

Battlestar Galactica was also an intermittent pleasure but it can be heavy going as it is quite plot driven. Knowing it was coming to an end seemed to lift this seasons episodes and I'm looking forward to the return of the final episodes in the new year.

Chuck was another show that had potential this year. It was consistently enjoyable, but not dazzlingly so. With a second series coming in 2009 aybe it can shine a bit brighter.

A late contender was Survivors but the BBC's habit of only producing a handful of episodes per series means that it was over before it began. With a second set of episodes scheduled for next year then at least we know there's more to come but it's not enough to give it top spot.

Finally we come to my actual choice for the year. With an expectation bending season that looked like it might not even get off the ground, the 14 episodes of Lost that kicked off the year set the benchmark and was never beaten. With the developments coming thick and fast we finally saw some payoff to the first few seasons and whilst some questions about the plot have been answered we still have many more questions about the characters still to go. Do they have a larger purpose in the scheme of things. Does the Island have some larger purpose or will it all boil down to some small-time ambitions. At the moment I'm as hooked as I ever was and even though I'm probably setting myself up for a fall when the final season comes along, I'm still enjoying the ride. So Lost gets my TV pick for the year.

Movie of 2008
There's nothing I'd like better than to name some obscure, foreign-language film as my pick of 2008, but unfortunately I've been cured of my movie snobbery, so I guess I'll just have to go with the film I enjoyed the most.

The Dark Knight was the years most hyped film but for me it kind of disappeared up its own backside and failed to tell a compelling Batman story. I've always seen Bats as a detective so I actually like to see him using his brain once in a while. His fisticuffs should only be employed to get to where he knows he already wants to be, the fights and gadgets are secondary to the fact that essentially he is the greatest detective mind pitting his wits against other criminal masterminds. His greates enemies are usually insane because that makes them unpredictable. Those who follow a logical thought pattern are easy to catch. There should have been a better battle of wits between the two, although I have to admit the final showdown was classic. The switch was only predictable until just before it happened and it dawned what was going to happen. Ultimately disappointing for me.

Instead another film from the comic book genre came to my rescue. Iron Man showed lots of wit and character even though the film had even more of an excuse to show off gadgets than Batman did. It also showed the difference between Marvel and DC even more so than before. Marvel's ethos has always been about superheroes in the real world whereas DC invented cities to reflect the characters they created. Therefore DC created fantasy heroes who faced fantasy villains which you knew they would escape from. Marvel however put the hero in the real world, facing real threats and you were then able to suspend disbelief that the hero was in real danger.

So the charming Tony Stark (aka Robert Downey Jr) takes my pick as movie of the year.

There you go! The top awards go to MGMT, Lost and Iron Man.

I hope the next year has more in store than this past year.


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Now playing: Air - La Femme d'Argent
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Merry christmas everybody!

I'll be blogging again after the holiday season.
Have a great time!

Regards,

Chris

Shopping in merthyr

It feels like no matter how far ahead we prepared for christmas we've spent every day this last week getting 'one last thing'. Well that ends today. I want to actually enjoy christmas!

Regards,

Chris

Dog Years No.1

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Giving Bush the Boot

If you want a snapshot of everything that George W Bush represents and how the US government have handled the war then the shoes thrown at the outgoing US President is just the kind of moment you'd ask for.

I couldn't believe someone had actually done it. Bush just stood there dumbfounded and later brushed off the incident.

My immediate response was to cheer. The Iraqi people have suffered a lot under Saddam and life hasn't really improved since the invasion. They've been trapped between the occupying forces and those who want to 'Free' Iraq. The symbolism of Bush finally getting a taste of what the people he has crushed with his ignorant regime actually feel might cause some remorse, but I doubt it. Instead, hopefully, it will be something the country can rally around in order to pull itself back together.

Maybe it is the beginning of true independence for Iraq once more.

Certainly the treatment that the reporter who threw his shoes appears to have gotten does not indicate that Iraq is as free as America would like every one to think it is. We all know that modern politics isn't about dealing with real problems, its about putting the right PR spin on things so that it looks like things are being done when they aren't.

I would like to think that the people of Iraq are ready to stand up to the US and that other countries would back them and support them. The US has ruined the world as its ideas of 'Democracy' and Capitalism have been shown to be hollow of meaning.

But what can take it's place? Does Barrack Obama have anything different to offer the world? Can he pick up the pieces of his countries past mistakes. It won't be long till we find out.


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Now playing: DC Talk - Mind's Eye
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TV Meview 13-14.12.2008

Only one weekend left till Christmas! Am I really going to commit to posting about everything I watch over the next week or two with all the specials and Christmas themed programmes I know my wife and kids are going to want to watch? Bah! Humbug, says I!

Well at least there's one less thing to watch each weeknd for a while now. X-Factor went out with whimper and a wail on Saturday as the person I DIDN'T want to win went ahead and won it. How thoughtless of them. Can I ever pick a winner? Just once?

Although I predicted Eoghan would win it last week my heart was really with JLS. Do we really need another strong voiced female singer belting out yet more pop ballads? Have we not had enough of those this year with Beyonce, Leona, Gabriella Cilmi, Duffy, Adele and others? I wanted a new generation of boy band to get the win. There's such a dearth of talent in that niche that Westlife could afford to take a year off and let Take That and Boyzone come back and get some love. Okay, so they would have Louis Walsh looking after them so they probably would have ended up sounding just like Boyzone and Westlife, but maybe not.

I liked the choice of single they have for release this year, 'Hallelujah' by Leonard Cohen, appaently. I've not been a fan of the last couple, but out of the two I definitely felt JLS' version was better.

In between the performances and the results show was 'The Girls Aloud Christmas Party'. A total cheesefest purely designed, in my opinion to inspire future talent show contestants that they really can become superstars. It was almost a throwback to the kind of 70's shows that people like Cliff Richard used to do where they'd sing songs, on their own or with guests, and have a few 'humourous' sketches peppered in between.

Has variety made its comeback complete? Is Harry Hill the new Benny Hill? Who's going to volunteer to be the new Jim Davidson?

The show wasn't as bad as all that as it relied quite a lot on the Girls Aloud back catalogue and their performances. At the end of the day even if you don't like the music you can't deny they're great to look at!

Sunday was Fringe-less so instead we had to find something else to watch. FX came to our rescue with a couple of episodes a supposedly hit NO.1 US show (although I'm not quite sure how they qualify that as I think it's broadcast on Cable over there). Burn Notice is something I've heard rumours about although I couldn't quite remember what they were.

Upon watching it I realised its probably been championed by rabid Bruce Campbell fans who think this guy is the best actor on Earth. Well, if earth is some sort of 'medicinal herb', like grass, which no-one else in the world partakes of, then yes that would be a correct statement.

Burn Notice came across like the The A-Team or Macgyver, but with Noughties production values, even if it's directorial flourishes were straight from the Eighties.

That said, I can't quite say I didn't enjoy it. Recognising it for what it was meant you could actually suspend your critical faculties and say okay this is just meant to be a bit of fun. Enjoy it!

I don't know where in the series I came in, but by the end of the first episode I knew who everyone was and what their roles were in the show, even if I didn't catch on to the overall plot driving the show until I watched the recap at the beginning of the second of the episodes.

This might keep me going till Fringe returns. My wife liked it too, so if we can usually agree on something then it ends up getting watched regularly.

Come the new year though Sundays are going to be all about the Abrams!


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Now playing: Underworld - Surfboy
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Another post from my phone!

This time with a picture.

From my phone

I can blog from my phone!

It's the thought that counts

Random Story 4

Jaz wandered into the kitchen. He liked it there.

Cooking wasn't a chore for him. He'd grown up around food and had always shown a keen interest in trying out new things.

He shared the apartment with his twin brother Jez.

Jez was due back anytime soon. He worked in the construction industry. They were fortunate to live on the south coast and with all the recent underwater living development he had a good career ahead of him.

In the years since the turn of the millenium new ways had to be found to cope with the threat of global warming and overpopulation. Birth control had helped to turn the tide in western countries, but the war-torn, corrupt countries of the Third World still showed no sign of social responsibility. Thankfully, someone came up with an innovative method of harnessing geo-thermal energy and instead of building hideous monuments that ruined the skyline most new development was now concentrated on building underground habitations. This was of benefit to Africa because they had one of the most stable continental plates in the world and they were rapidly usurping the middle east in terms of energy supply to the western world by running long trenches and insulated pipes to the rest of the world. Hopefully this mean its long term social development would become more stable as well.

Architects rushed to make something of beauty out of this utilitarian concept and thus Riverside living was no longer the fashion. Instead it was Underbay areas that fetched the highest prices on the market. Jez had found a niche here specialising in watertight roof windows that allowed the penthouse Underbay to have views directly under the marina. The water in these new bays was now barraged and filtered to give it an extra clarity in the bright sunshine and afforded spectacular views to those able to pay for them. Jaz thought it was a bit like living in an aquarium.

He looked up as Jez wandered in. Tonight was a special night. Their 21st birthday.

The meal that had taken most of Jaz's time to prepare this evening would soon be ready.

As Jez flopped on their sofa his brother came and sat beside him.

"You look shattered." Jaz said. There was something he wanted to talk to his twin about, but he knew he had to guage his mood first.

"Yeah. We had to vaccum seal the penthouse and then pump the work area dry so we could prepare the roof to accept the first window tomorrow."

"That sounds...involved."

"It's a klick's worth of checklists is what it is. We can build underwater houses, but we can't build a reliable pressurised construction drone to do the dirty work."

"I thought those drones were quite sophisticated now?"

"They are, but down there, the inconsistency of the light through the water plays havoc with their optics. That big collapse in Dubai a couple of months ago was caused by a drones inability to accurately see depth in detail. Sonar can only do so much but the optic recognition program wasn't sophisticated enough."

"Just like the old days huh? 'To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.' "

"You been spending the day reading. Again?"

That was the moment Jaz realised they wouldn't be able to talk about it. Tonight would be their last night.

"My studies are nearly done. I was kind of hoping that I would get to finish them sooner."

Jez shifted uncomfortably at the mention of the future.

"Why have you wasted all this time on something so dumb as anthropology? The world is getting better. We passed the period of environmental short-sightedness years ago. We're in a new dawn of human achievement."

"And what price have we paid for this achievement, Jez." he looked at his brother. They'd had this conversation before. The decision to be made was an impossible one, and it was not in their hands.

"Can I smell something burning?" Jez ended their little chat and turned toward the TV screen that was unfurling against the main wall.

Jaz got up. The food was fine but when Jez didn't want to talk, he just didn't.

He stopped briefly by a mirror on the wall and looked deep into his own eyes, trying to search for some answer to their problem. For some other way. Although they were twins he looked only vaguely similar to his counterpart. There was a definite similarity but they had both developed in different ways. Both physically and emotionally. Jez was by far the more masculine of the two and Jaz, the more sensitive.

The political culture which had brought about the changes that Jez was so enthused over was an unlikely combination. A movement with the voice of the Moral Majority but with Liberal tendencies had finally risen up and drowned out the tired bleatings of socialists, centralists and conservatives. Grass roots frustration with career politicians had finally coalesced into something that worked for everyone. It started in the UK and was now taking hold across most other major democracies in the world especially those with the most disillusioned populace.

With it had come a push for a change in the status quo. With a mandate from the people who put them into power, there were more sweeping changes made than had been since back in the first months of the Blairite government. The old guy even gave his guarded approval to the new movement, which he felt was a natural progression of what he'd tried to do. The UK was now more of a meritocracy than ever before. The class system was disappearing, the welfare program had been all but dismantled by making sure the country had a framework that was sustainable in supporting its citizens and that society had a place for everyone. At 21 is when you became a full citizen.

Jaz drifted over to the cooker and moved things around, finishing off the last few parts of the meal. Their big day was here.

With the cooking done Jaz added a last garnish to Jez's meal and brought it to the dining table.

"It's ready." He announced.

Jez tore himself away from the screen where he was watching a football match from the latest round of the World Champions League. It was a classic grudge match between Liverpool and Barcelona. Barcelona were leading one-nil partway through the first quarter.

"I can't believe Jones got herself sent off in the first five minutes!" Jez complained as he sat at the table facing the screen. "We're down to ten on the pitch now until the second quarter. They're gonna hammer us."

"Eat your food or it'll go cold", Jaz said without looking up.

"Alright, Alright."

Jaz waited until the first quarter of the football match had finished before trying to speak again.

"Jez. I was talking to a man from the Office of Citizenship the other week. He thinks I'm not going to make a full citizen."

Even though there was nothing to distract him, Jez didn't meet his brothers eyes. His voice was downcast as he spoke.

"What did you think would happen, Jaz. You can't just waste your life anymore. This isn't the bad old days."

"Waste my life. That's ironic. I'm not going to be a full citizen Jez."

"Its the way things are. Its how they work now. Everyone has a responsibility for everyone else to a degree, but ultimately you're responsible for your own contribution to society."

"You've bought it hook, line and sinker haven't you."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, you know you're going to get yours and your not going to jeopardise it. Not even for me."

"Hey! I earnt mine! I didn't look for a free pass." The brothers were simmering and the heat was about to go up further.

"I know but I've got a plan. I need your help."

"No."

"You're central to it. I've learned from you. I want to be like you."

"You what?"

"I haven't been doing my anthropology studies for a few weeks now. I've been taking a crash course in Geo-thermal Residential Construction."

"A job! You want me to get you a job! The assessment is tomorrow morning. Graduation is in the evening. There's no way I can get you a...a...ack!" Jez clutched his chest.

"I knew you'd react like this. I'm sorry." Jaz stared across the table at his brother. "I'm not going to die Jez. I've got things to do. A world to change. You're going to help me do that."

"Wh..Whegghh...What...are you...talking about?"

"I don't like the system, Jez. Life isn't all about work. Life is about freedom. Somewhere along the way our liberal oppressors forgot that. In my studies on anthropology I found out what happens to people with power. They start off with good intentions, but power corrupts them. Liberalism should always be in opposition to the status quo, because the status quo tends toward conservatism and it always needs someone to knock the hard edges off it."

"Jaz..." his brother's voice was a strained cry for help as he reached across the table.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't let it be me. I'm going to change things. For the better. The system works because they kill those who aren't good citizens. They're like the old Soviet Union now. They got mixed up and crossed eugenics with euthanasia. As they loosened the requirement for euthanasia they tightened their control on the birth rate. This is how they created your brand new dawn. They have a mandate from the people too, a democratic mandate, to kill off the opposition because they cause too much friction to the smoothly oiled cogs of our shiny new society. I'm 21. My life should be beginning not ending. Someone has to stand up. Something has to change. Jaz died today. Of a heart attack. Stress probably. That's all they'll ever know. But now the life that you would have had becomes mine and I'll do more with it than you ever could. And to think they were going to kill me instead of you. It's just institutionalised murder. There's no justification."

Jaz moved around the table, his brother had fallen to the floor. He knelt beside him.

"I loved you my brother, but sometimes change requires sacrifice. Things that are dear to you can stop you progressing. You can appreciate that I'm sure. We started off with the right intentions. We got rid of things such as cars, we reduced our reliance on fossil fuels and we made progress. Well now it's time for the next step."

He put his hand gently on his brothers face.

"Rest in peace, Jez. Rest knowing that if anything I deserved to live longer. And i'll make it work. In your name and for your memory, this world will change so that a tragedy like this never has to occur again."














Character: counterparts Plot: longer Resolution: mandate


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Now playing: Bob Marley - Sun Is Shining
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RIP Beloved Bike

July 2007 - December 2008

Salut, Edwin Van der Sar

Edwin Van der Sar has been one of the most consistent and important players for Man U over the last few years.

He came and rescued United from a dangerous slide after Peter Schmeicel left and we went through a few 'Next big thing' keepers who, whilst they had talent, were still relatively inexperienced and didn't have the temperament for the big time.

His last couple of summers at Fulham had been rife with specualtion about him moving to United and, in all honesty, I think Fergie made a mistake in not signing him sooner. He was one of the reasons Fulham were still in the Premier League and able to think about European qualification.

My oldest son, who is also a Man U fan, loves Van der Sar too. He rates him with Ronaldo and Scholes. I think thatgoes to show howimportant he is to United.

He's one of the players that makes a difference. You know that it will rarely be because of him that you concede a goal. It also shows the importance of having a top notch goalkeeper in giving your side confidence. The fluctuations of personnel in United's defence this season have been minimised when he's in the side, but have been exposed when one of the other keepers have been in.

At least he'll be around for another couple of years in order to smooth the transition. Kuszczak and Foster have talent for sure, but I think Fergie has learnt hislesson from last time and wants to make sure that these guys are left to sink or swim and take the team with them.

If they've got the cahunas for the big league then they'll listen to everything Van der Sar can teach them and seize every opportunity that comes their way and maybe they'll become regulars before his contract finally ends in 2011.

Even so, at least he'll be around for the really big matches.

I think that for his part in the club's recent successes, especially the Champions League final, he will go down as one of the legends.

Salut to you, Edwin Van der Sar!

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Now playing: Lord Tanamo - I'm in the Mood for Ska
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Welcome to the World of Crime

Well, today it finally happened.

I lost my virginity.

At the grand old age of 35 I am officially a victim of crime.

I have a crime number and everything.

Okay, so it was only my bike being stolen from my garden, but I've been surprised at just how much I feel about the whole thing. It's one thing to know how victims feel, but something else to experience it yourself.

It's only been a few hours since we discovered it (yes, we do get up that early!), but already i've been through the ringer.

At first I started of with nonchalance. It's only a bike (albeit an expensive one for us). It's just a thing. It doesn't matter in the scheme of things. At least it wasn't one that belonged to the kids.

Then I got angry. How dare they come into my garden and take my possessions! When I find them I'm going to skin them alive and hang their guts out to dry! Just you wait! If I see you riding my bike i'll... The whole revenge fantasy kicked in something rotten as I walked the streets at 6am in the ice and rain looking for any sign of thief or bike.

Once I got back from my journey I sat down and felt some grief for the thing. I would miss that bike as it had been my friend during a pretty intense period of my life when I had separated from my wife and got a new job in a different part of the country. There were a lot of memories attached to that 'thing'.

Now, at this moment, I'm going through paranoia. I'm sat at the dining table with my laptop, looking through the window, straight down the garden at the back gate. I think I've looked through the window about 30 times whilst writing this post. Every little noise that seems to come from the garden has me looking for some mysterious person who's greedy enough and stupid enough to return to the scene of the crime a few hours later for more.

The bike wasn't in the best shape, it had some spokes missing, worn tyres, a puncture and a slightly bent rear axle that made it work a bit harder. At one point I hoped that while they were riding it away that the thief pushed the bike too hard in these conditions and it failed them and they fell under a lorry! If that didn't happen then it was going to be one of those daftest robberies ever as they'll have to pay out for a new rear wheel and new front and rear tyres too if they want to bring it back to life. Although I guess you wouldn't expect a thief to pay for anything really would you.

Maybe it was better gone anyway. Not just for its mechanical failings, I would have been happy to restore my old friend back into working condition if I had had the money. No, I meant more for what it represented.

It was from a part of my life that was full of 'what ifs' now. Not a good place to have when you're trying to rebuild a relationship. Maybe it not being here will help draw a line under that period and help me live more in the now and for this future rather than one that might have been.

I was supposed to have gone into Pontypridd today for my course, but I can't stand the thought of leaving the house until I've made it secure. I'm not sure I'll get planning for 20-foot high, 2-foot thick walls though.

I know I'll probably never see the bike again. The person who stole it will probably never return again. But it happened once. It could happen again.

Welcome to the world of crime.


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Now playing: The Bee Gees - Too Much Heaven
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TV Meview 9.12.2008

Gosh! Doing these TV reviews is positively cathartic!

I was about to dismiss an evening in front of the telly this Tuesday in favour of a return to Sims 2. Much more drama there, I thought.

Sat at the dining table at the other end of our room Stargate Atlantis came on the tv and I felt no desire to go and watch it. It didn't help that this was another episode of the interminably boring 'wraith become human' saga that was trotted out. It kind of opened my eyes to what ultimately leads this sort of show in need of a reboot.

When you get such a small group of people going up against the kind of odds that the Atlantis crew do, week in and week out, always coming out on top, then they start to gain a mythical status.

Nothing can touch them and the type of adventure that would challenge us mere mortals would come across as a minor distraction to them.

Therefore the obstacles the Atlantis team now face each episode have become more and more epic in scale, such as finding some sort of redemption for the wraith. They are now benevelont gods. And as usual whenever we imperfect humans try to convey some kind of altruistic concept we make it so bland and devoid of life and excitement (is that what we really think totally good people are like?) we make it totally uninteresting.

Maybe that's why I liked the episode last week. It was relatively small scale and focused about the problems between people and showed character.

Once Stargate had finished I was quite prepared to stay at the table but in order to propose engagement to Titania Summerdream but my longsuffering wife reminded methat Survivors was coming on.

This programme has now become the highlight of my week in the absence of any new Fringe episodes until the new year. Another strong episode saw our band go their separate ways as it looked like they had found a place to settle. Abby went off chasing a rumour of children on a nearby estate (not the kind of estate I thought it would be!), Greg and Anya stayed back at the house to wait for Abby whilst the rest of the gang went off to the new community we first saw in the last episode.

As usual nothing goes according to plan and Abby is attacked by a group of boys as she tries to rescue a mysterious stranger from their untamed wrath. Greg and Anya are attacked by another group of Foragers and Anya shows her strengths as she resists and turns the tables on them. Meanwhile, all is not as it seems in paradise and the high standards of the community make them wary of the newcomers as they don't all quite fit into this fledgling society. One incident in particular shows the true colours of a couple of the cast that I'm sure we'll need to bear in mind for future episodes.

Upon Abby's return Greg looks forlorn as yet another opportunity for him to open up to her about his obvious feelings for her are thwarted yet again.

There are only two episodes left of this series now and I can't wait to see what happens next. Will they lose or gain anyone else before the finale. Is there a betrayal on the cards? Surely this has got to get a second series?


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Now playing: Kenny Larkin - Morph
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Pain No.2

TV Meview 6-8.12.2008

It's been a sparse weekend's programming, mainly because of putting up decorations and not sleeping very well but here's my thoughts on what I did watch.

The Semi-Final of X-Factor was a tough one to call, but at the end of the day the right people made it to the final. As I keep saying the talent has been very high this year but Diana Vicker's quirky vocal just wasn't strong enough or consistent enough to get her to the final. I'm sure she'll do well in the current pop landscape when she finally releases something, as long as they find the right songs for her anyway.

Shall I call a winner yet? Yeah, okay!

Eoghan Quigg.

He'll do it because of the fan base of the show and the fact that teens are more likely to be motivated to see more of his cute, but vacant expressions.

Talking of Eoghan's facial expressions, I almost missed Harry Hill's TV Burp as it was on later than usual. This weeks show was full of its usual running gags and TV absurdities. The standout moment was when he cast his weirdy eye onto a show about Health and Safety professionals (The Fun Police). It had me in stitches. Uncomfortably so, as I had company whilst watching it this weekend that don't see the fun in Harry Hill and so were actually more amused at my amusement. Please ITV, please put Harry back on at a normal time so I can watch it with my boys and not bear the shame of merriment alone.

After Harry had brought Anna Ryder-Richardson low to close the show I got sucked into watching the British Comedy Awards (yes, ITV does win hands down on Saturday nights in this house). Purposefully unaware of the Ross/Brand debacle that affected this show (I didn't hear the broadcast so I have no opinion of it) I was reminded of it constantly by every comedian who wanted to sound a little controversial by standing up for them. I know awards shows are notorious for luvvies, but this year's awards seemed to show new depths of self reference in place of genuine humour. That's not to say I didn't laugh every now and then, its traditional for ITV comedy, but I guess it did miss the irreverence and confidence of Head Boy Jonathan Ross. Having his lines delivered by the deadpan Angus Deayton didn't always work.

As usual most of the good comedy came from the BBC, so I guess its off to iPlayer to find out what the fuss is about half the shows mentioned.

After Match of the Day I spent most of the day trying to stay awake but managed to last throughout the whole of the Disney Premiere of Ratatouille. This was the first Pixar movie in a while that I hadn't taken the kids to the cinema to watch. Possibly because it was about a Rat who wanted to be a Chef. How amuszzz....zzzz..zzz

Oops! Sorry, getting tired again! So anyway, I thought, why let the kids see an animated tale of Gordon Ramsay's private life. Having seen it though it was fairly amusing though definitely one of their dullest in my book. The head chef was just too much of a loser, as was the original chef, who died because of a bad review. The only highlight was the fiesty french chick who the loser falls for and inexplicably wins. I hate hollywood romances. I was glad when the thing finished and I could get the kids to bed.

After our evening had relaxed a bit it was time for a bit of Fringe. This was the last episode before the new year (I still haven't found out if they're making anymore yet though) so a cliffhanger was expected, but the route there wasn't.

It was time to start tying up some of the plot threads whilst throwing more questions into the pot. The things that stuck with me were the revelations of how surprised Walter was at some of the things coming his way. Usually he recognises the wierdness and says 'oh yes, I invented that whilst I was drying myself in the shower'. To see him react to things he hadn't encountered was a neat twist on how the show has worked to this point. Also the fact that Olivia suddenly became more valuable to two parties possibly behind 'the pattern' and that one of them has aquired her against her will was also a logical place to take the character even if you wouldn't expect them to do so this early on.

I like the fact that the show is taking risks with its characters. None of the three leads are your typical, likeable everyman character. That makes them interesting because not only do you not know where 'The Pattern' will take you next, you can't necessarily guess the character's responses in these situations. I'm going to miss this in the coming weeks. Sunday is now dead to me.

As Monday soon will be once Eli Stone wraps up its first season. Another great episode where we get to see good people being good and leading the morally gray into a better place. The effects of Eli's new found ethics are starting to have their ripples felt around the law firm and it hasn't gone unnoticed as Katy Sagal (Married with Children, Futurama) steps in as one of the silent law-partners who finds she can no-longer be silent due to Eli's crusading costing them high-paying clients.

Has Eli found himself a formidable adversary who will try to reverse, block and end all the good he has tried to do? I hope we find out.

This week Eli sees the future which involves some of the people from his present ending up somewhere he didn't expect them. This leads him to representing a criminal who is being persecuted for standing up for himself in jail and who has links in the past to one of the other lawyers in the firm.

Whilst Eli gets on with this case his relationship with his assistant continues to be awkward as her sudden engagement becomes an issue. Eli's Ex on the other hand is now being won over by the office jerk who, since learning about his baseball hero's underhand tactics when representing him, seems to be showing a softer side. I guess with all of the characters from the opening episodes who seemed to be Eli's enemies now showing either indifference or some actual character growth a new adversary had to be put in place to create some internal tension in the office.

Lets see where it takes us.


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Now playing: Supergrass - She's So Loose
via FoxyTunes

Random Story 3

Every day was a slow day in Little Boghampton.

It felt slower because the day was made of a series of regular occurences which you spent most of the day waiting for.

Behind the front desk of the village constabulary, one of the last of its kind, PC James anticipated the next part of the schedule.

He wasn't far off retirement and he only got to visit Little Boghampton once a week as part of his community visits, but he had been stationed here for a long time previously and so he knew the place like the back of his hand. Fortunately he never wore gloves.

Ah! There she was. He glanced out of the window. Miss Cooper rode past on her bicycle. They had a history which he wished wasn't now in the past, but he felt a duty not to put pressure on her now that her husband had recently died. He would wait until she was ready. He prided himself on his self-control.

Lost, as he was, in his memories he was brought back with a rather loud bang as the door to his now cramped office slammed shut. The rest of the constabulary had been converted into a 3-bed house which had been sold for enough money to have funded a full-time police officer in this village for the next 150 years!

His visitor was another of the every day happenings that were difficult to avoid. It was Barry Stott. To say he was the local drunk was to say it all really. He braced himself as he wondered what story Barry would regale him with today. The amount of times the PC had picked up Barry for being 'Drunk and Disorderly' over the years had somehow given the old sot the impression that they were now good friends.

"PC! How are you doing today!" The alcohol fumes wafted across the small room.

The constable shuffled a few papers.

"I'm fine Barry. Do you have police business today?"

"Now as it happens I do."

Stott missed the raised eyebrow in response to his statement as he was too busy trying to focus on the spider playing a trombone under the ledge of the front desk.

"And what is the nature of your business?" Experience came into play here. The less interest he showed in the story the shorter the tale usually became. Shorter being a relative measurement.

"Well I was out by old Miss Cooper's place earlier..."

This got a rise out of the constable he was always very protective of Miss Cooper, especially now that she was a widow.

"Less of the 'old' please. Show some respect. Why were you out there? You know she's at the library in Much Boghampton in the mornings!"

"Well if you want me to start at the beginning, I will."

Rats! He'd fallen for the bait. This slow day was about to get slower.

"It all began last night!

As I was escorted in a gentlemanly fashion from the local establishment I decided to fall over so that I could appreciate the stars in the sky.

Even though I hit my head I was clear-headed enough to notice a few of the stars seemed to be closer that they ought to be. And moving.

I was about to get up and make my way home and put myself off to bed. I got as far as sitting up, whereupon one of the stars shot past me through the village.

Now, knowing that in your enforced absence I'm the closest thing to an officer of the constabulary in these parts, I put off my plans for a peaceful nights sleep and followed the bright light in the direction it had gone. I didn't have to go far as I saw that the star had landed in one of the bedrooms in the vicarage. I knew this because I was talking with the father over a pint earlier in the evening and he had been bemoaning that his lightbulb had fizzed out the previous night and hadn't been able to replace it. So there was no other explanation for the glow emanating from his top floor.

I sat outside to see what would happen next as I heard a number of strange noises coming from the open window, whereupon the star left the house. The noises stopped at that moment so I felt it was okay to go after the star. You see, I've picked up a few tips from you on how to do this investigation thing."

"Is that it?" He knew it was a pointless question but he tried just on the off-chance.

"Well, you'd think it would be wouldn't you. It's not often that a star just falls out of the sky is it? But I know how these types work and I could tell that the star was acting suspiciously."

"A suspicious looking star. In the vicarage bedroom?"

"That's not the end of it."

What a shame, the PC thought.

"I followed it again. As everyone else was tucked up in bed it was easy to tell where it had gone...Miss Coopers place."

"Are you dragging her into this now?" The constable felt his blood begin to boil.

"Just the facts my dear friend. By the way can you make out the tune that spider is playing?"

"Get on with it or get out!"

"PC. You need to calm down I'm getting to it. I just need to explain..."

The look he recieved prompted him to carry on.

"So there I was in front of Miss Coopers house with the same strange happenings occurring. I found that the longer I stared at the light I could make out shapes moving around. After a while I think the light hypnotised me because all of a sudden dawn was breaking and I realised that it must have found me and knocked me out without realising it."

"What found you?" An incredulous police officer inquired.

"The star of course. Oh look there's an ant playing bongo's now."

"Finish the story, so that I can arrest you, and go home!" Some of his famed self-control was slipping.

"Okay. Okay. Well obviously the star was no longer there. I wondered what might have happened as I know you care very much for her welfare. I wandered over all steathily so as not to arouse suspicions. I climbed through the gap in the bush just behind the tree on the left corner, you know the one."

"I certainly do not!"

"Oh, must have been someone else that night. Well, I tread very carefully through the garden so as not to disturb the careful tendering that Miss Cooper puts into that verdant paradise. I moved around her house checking for signs of entry. Did you know her gutterings coming away over the kitchen window?

I walked up to the back door and noticed the window was broken. I knew it would be a few hours until you would arrive in the village and for the sake of such a short time anything could have happened in that house, so I took it upon myself to open the door, whereupon I was greeted with the most horrifying sight."

"What was it! I demand to know?" The constable was totally caught up in the tale now.

Barry sat back enjoying the enraptured audience.

"You know as well as anyone that I'm a man with a hardy constitution but nothing could have prepared me for the sight that I beheld. The place was overrun with bugs!"

"Bugs?!" Spluttered the PC.

"Bugs, yes. Every imaginable kind. Worms, spiders, beetles, caterpillars, flies and more. All of them swarming around the kitchen. But that's nothing as to what happened next. As I opened the door a bit further it creaked, whereupon all of the insects moved as one and converged together.

"Together?"

"Together. As one, I say. They all swarmed upon each other and a form began to take shape. As each insect buzzed, crawled and wriggled its way across the kitchen it became something else. Someone else."

"Who?"

"Do you have some flyspray, constable?" Barry said.

"Who was it?" His demands were growing more strangled as he struggled for control.

"Here, I picked up a few, have one, you'll need it. That spider over there looks armed." He put a can of spray on the counter.

"Tell me...!"

"Have you not worked it out yet? It was Miss Cooper."

The constable had had enough. "That's it. You're nicked!"

He stormed around the front desk and manhandled Stott into the token excuse for a cell at the back of the room.

"What are you doing? Constable?"

"I'm doing the town a favour and keeping you out of trouble and then I'm going to see Miss Cooper to see what mischief you've done."

"But what are you going to do? Take the flyspray, at least."

PC James finally lost his highly regarded self-control in a moment he would later regret and threw the spray at the incarcerated, inebriated fool who had just wasted his time for the last occasion.

He had sufficiently calmed down by the time he reached Miss Cooper's house and took a moment to adjust his uniform. To satisfy his police instincts he had tried to substantiate the story of the old sot now in the cell.

Father Bownes had seemed fine and attributed his night time light show to the fact that he had moved his table lamp upstairs and forgotten to turn it off before falling asleep during his bedtime prayer routine, thus giving him nightmares for a time until he woke up and turned it off.

Now the constable had an opportunity to call upon Miss Cooper. Any interaction with her was a welcome distraction and he walked up to the front door. As he made his way through the gate he glanced across to the left-hand corner of the garden and saw the unmistakable path Barry had trampled. He sighed and tutted to himself as he approached the front door.

He didn't have to wait too long after knocking as Miss Cooper opened the door with a smile. With a nod of her head she beckoned him in, closing the door quietly after him.

When Barry was found a few months later, still in the cell, he was near to death, a number of tins of empty insect spray littered around him. They almost didn't find him, but his weak cries for help were heard through the flames as they burned the mountain of dead insect carcasses that surrounded the cell.

The country had survived the onslaught but suffered heavy casualties. Towns the length and breadth of the UK were purged of the insect infestations. The only way you could tell a real human was by the intense scarring left by the extra strength bugspray that was used to defend against the manifestations of the insect invader. Or by using an ultraviolet 'zapstick', a portable version of those found in the local chippie.

Only through one man's warning can we fend of future attacks.

"Never trust an insect that can play musical instruments."





















Character: Whereupon Plot: Demands Resolution: Bugs

Promises No.1

TV meview 3/4.12.08

Another day another TV meview (do you see what I did there?).

I left you as I was about to watch the latest episode of Stargate Atlantis. Now I have to admit that I only tend to watch this out of habit these days. I still hang in there because of a few characters I like despite the tired stories and rehashed plots. One of them, Rodney Mackay, was the focus of this episode.

A romance has been blossoming between him and another character for a little while now. While it's been obvious to her and the viewers that Rodney likes her, she finally loses her patience as he tries to invent another reason as to why they should spend time together instead of just coming out and asking her on a date.

So, after a reassurance that she's not going to say no he asks her out. I can't criticise, its what I'd probably do. It must be a geek trait.

As it turns out their first date will be spent at a physicists convention. How exciting! Well at least we know that all isn't going to go according to plan and it doesn't disappoint. An old colleague has called the top brains in the world together to demonstrate a way to solve Global Warming, using some of Rodney's theories that he developed as part of the Stargate program.

Of course this leads to all sorts of shenanigans which aptly demonstrate the flaws of Rodney's character as well as his strengths and at the end of the day he saves the day and gets the girl, whilst proving himself to his peers who think he has dropped off the face of the planet in recent years (well I guess he has, really).

All in all it was a good romp. With the news that this will be Atlantis' last season I'll cherish every bit of Rodney I can get. Apparently there's a new series in development called Stargate Universe, but why it'll be worth the risk of dumping some well-established characters to re-invent a tired format I don't know. Maybe it needs a break like Star Trek, in order to gather itself and come back stronger.

After a rare, decent episode of Atlantis it was time to turn to some more dramatic stuff altogether.

Survivors has already, in my opinion, set its tone which, considering the last series Julie Graham was in (Bonekickers), is a great improvement. The acting, stories and production values are on a par with programmes like Spooks and Hustle though not as flashy in its presentation. It's a simple drama about people stripped down to their essences. Each cast member represents a stereotype, philosophy or ideology. In the great Science Fiction tradition this is standard fare, but to see it in primetime on the BBC is good stuff.

The post-apocalyptic setting allows them to explore human traits and responses to an uncivilised environment. That means that plot lines that make no sense on something like Eastenders actually have some weight in Survivors. This could also be down to better actors though.

The interesting thing about this series is that the guy who plays Greg (Paterson Joseph) is rumoured to be the next Doctor Who, so not only am I investing in his performance here, I find myself analysing everything about him as to whether he would make a good Doctor or not.

This time around it looked at the struggle between those who were trying to cling on to the last vestiges of civilisation and those who were trying to create a new one. It pulls no punches in showing what would need to be done in trying to keep law and order functioning in a lawless world. If this was produced in America by a network other than HBO I'm sure it would get all sentimental about democracy and the innate goodness of people. Thankfully, its not and we get a pretty accurate account of what happens in a power vacuum.

Balanced with this storyline the question is posed "How do those who've never done a real day's work in their life look after a bunch of chickens?" A bit of an obvious situation to confront if you find that farmers are no longer producing the food you picked up at the local shop, but it presents itself as an opportunity for some character growth and to foreshadow some future internal struggles within our band of survivors.

I have to say that the pacing of the story is great. It doesn't whiz by like Lost does, but it doesn't drag on like Atlantis can do either. You definitely feel like you've a meaty episode that satisfies.

Wednesday's programming solely consisted of Heroes. I got to watch it alone this week which is hard enough, but as it was a two-parter I decided I'd probably have better things to do next Wednesday (like putting my shoes in the shoe cupboard), so I figured I'd watch the 'first view' on BBC three as well.

I was prepared to give Heroes the benefit of the doubt for its third series after the abortive second season. Unfortunately, it has now, officially, wasted all of my goodwill.

This two-parter was supposed to change everything up, but all its done is once again had everyone acting against the characters they established in the excellent first season.

I'm probably not adding anything to the growing chorus of disapproval to this series, but it surely can't last another season like this. I guess it will ultimately be written off as a one season wonder as I can't see it getting itself out of this mess.

Just the way it picks up from the cliffhanger of part 1 (once you've seen both episodes and connected the dots as to what went on between you'll be sick a little, or not) is typical of the inconsistency prevalent in this series. Does anyone on this show know what they are doing or where they are going and how to make us care again for the characters they've messed up?

It looks like they were surprised by the success of the first season and didn't know what to do with it.

Saying that, I'm an optimistic person and I'll stick with it to the bitter end, if only because my wife loves the program. I've heard it said that its only comic fans that are disappointed by the show as they are used to better and non comic fans still enjoy the show as measured against other dramas out there.

I suppose it is better than Mutant X.
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Now playing: Laura Branigan - Self Control
via FoxyTunes

This weekend's TV

I missed the results show of X-factor this Saturday but apparently I didn't miss much, apart from another awful appearance by Britney Spears. Although to be honest the signs were there in the main show. All the performances were sub-par as far as I was concerned.

That's what you get for basing a show on Britney's back catalogue though. Not the greatest singer in the world and to get these wannabes to copy her style is actually to belittle their talent.

Never mind, hopefully they'll have a better range of songs next week.

Sunday's latest Fringe episode on Sky1 was very good as it revealed a little more about the deceased agent John Scott and what he was up to. Was he selling secrets or working against the mysterious Massive Dynamics corporation. There's enough questions here to keep you interested and coming back each episode. There's no doubt that Walter Bishop is the most interesting character but his son Peter managed to get some storyline this week as he threatened some bloke beating up an old flame, who turned out to have some connection to a group who were after him.

As I intended to write this yesterday, today's post would have been about last nights telly. Instead I'll chuck it in here so you can have two columns of drivel for the price of one.

Monday saw us laid out in front of Eli Stone. It's not the kind of show that you sit perched on the edge of your seat for. Just sit back, relax and let the tale of a lawyer with prophetic dreams with a George Michael theme amuse you and bring some good feeling through your gogglebox. The latest development saw Eli relive his brother's actions at the time of their father's death and revealed a secret that been hidden from him since then.

As usual this tied in with having to defend his brother who veers from week to week as to whether he believes Eli's visions or not. The topic on trial this time is who gets to decide who lives and who dies as a former patient's husband sues Eli's doctor brother.

Actually, writing that I realise that the plot is incidental to everything that's happening. It's the characters that I find myself interested in. Eli is played by Jonny Lee Miller who is an actor I've always liked, ever since he was in Trainspotting. There aren't enough genuine nice guy characters these days, everyone has to have a twisted flaw or a dark secret. It's a light, fluffy program with a male Ally MacBeal.

Whoops! Time to go. Stargate Atlantis is on, then Survivors.


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Now playing: Mansun - Wide Open Space [Perfecto Mix]
via FoxyTunes

My 2009 Prediction

After the Watchmen movie becomes an epic success next year I reckon next halloween will see the arrival of a new (though very chilly) costume.

Will you be brave enough?


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Now playing: The Hybrids - Suzy Parker
via FoxyTunes

Random Story 2

You don't have to travel very far from the surface of the earth before people start losing their individuality and start looking like a mob.

Patterns of behaviour become self evident and somewhat monotonous. Somewhere around sunrise (a relative concept if ever there was one as the sun never moves) the people begin streaming from their little boxes and take a short walk before they enter an even smaller box and just sit still apart from waggling their hands and feet in attempt to give the small box direction and motion. Some people waggle their fingers at each other too, but that's something else to explore.

Once these people have transferred themselves into towering, coffin like structures another type of human has already started their day, which is often spent rarely leaving the confines of their box apart from short, erratic dashes to set points within a few miles of their box.

The people who have spent the day in the box/tower/coffin then emerge once the majority of the day is over only to rush back to the smaller box, sometimes putting their very existence in danger along the way. Shortly after the orbit of the planet shifts the sun's light to another part of the world they stop all activity, apart from breeding, which this race are particularly good at, until the sun wanders over in their direction again

This carries on for a few of the planets cycles when the pattern changes. Varying due to the current state of the local climate they will either leave their small box and go to a tiny strip of silicate along the edge of a H20 mass crammed in with numerous other humans and then proceed to remove their protective shielding and expose their fragile bodies to the harmful spectrum of radiation that their sun bestows upon them.

However if the local climate is more bountiful and feeds the surrounding land with much needed water the people tend to go to a different type of large box. What happens here is that a large number of them arrive in their travelling boxes and proceed inside the new structure. They enter with nothing and exit it with more than they seem capable of comfortably transporting. Even to the short distance to their travelling box. They seem to have developed a shift pattern whereby everyone in their community takes it in turns to remove the contents of this box. I have observed this behaviour for a very long time and no-one has ever left it without taking something.

Of course there are exceptions to this rule. For instance not everyone goes to the H20 mass, some stand outside their boxes and set off a controlled combustion onto which the flesh of their cohabitants on the planet are placed. Please don't misunderstand me. They are not from the same species.

So what am I to do? How do I rescue these creatures from their pointless existence. As a benevolent, god-like being, I cannot sit by and watch them waste their existence.

Shall I intervene in the lives of them all?

How would that be any better for them? They would not be responsible for their own achievements.

Should I influence just a few of them?

Who would I choose?

There must be a way of selectively rooting out those on the planet who would inspire greater things in them and save them from this miserable existence?

I did leave my spaceship sometime ago and tried to blend in with them. I tried to consult with them about how to make a better world for themselves. I don't think they listened.

I beamed out of there after they tried to kill me. I wonder what happened to those few friends who I visited to let them know I was really okay after all. They probably died the death of the forgotten billions.

Oh well. It's only another 5 Billion years till the sun burns out and they're dead anyway. If they carry on like this they'll never leave the planets surface and survive that. Either way, I get a new assignment then.

I hear there are interesting things happening in galaxy 52-B3. It's got to be more exciting than this.

















Character: everyone Plot: Selectively Resolution: consult


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Now playing: Girls Against Boys - Exorcisto
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